Monkey Shines 0/5 stars
This show was an eyesore, just ridiculous. All copies should be burnt on the lawn of the producer's house. I'd prefer a fierce case of botulism opposed to having to see this show again.

I'm doing a stereotypical review of what I think may happen in this devious masterpiece. Despite the name GOONIES this piece of work actually managed to gross 61 million. (holy shit) With an all-star cast of characters whose various names range from "Chunk" to "Sloth" and even to the "Mouth" you know this filmstrip is going places.... hopefully into an incinerator. The "Goonies" epitomizes the '80s family action-adventure. Steven Spielberg actually got his name attatched to this bad boy and assumes the reins of producer in this valiant effort to make 61 million dollars from a show called "GOONIES" Viewers heads are infiltrated with scenes of special effects, pirate's treasure, epic sets, and curmudgeonly crooks. The characters are built on obvious cliches (i.e. the whining fat kid, the homecoming queen, the Asian kid with gadgets), the charming performances and quirky dialogue manage to bring these seemingly stale archetypes to life. Goonies is an overproduced grab bag of Hollywood hack, which somehow managed to collect a pirates treasure from moviegoers.... perhaps the same treasure the characters are hellbent on finding in this show. Reading through the cast I found some usefull characters which played a key role in the film. They are as follows;

Gene Ross - Man in Shower

Max Segar - Man in Shower

Newt Arnold - Man in Shower


Orwin Harvey - Tennis Player

Holy shit without these characters the plot is useless... special shouts out to Ross, Segar, Arnold, and Harvey for your 21 seconds of fame - keep up the good work fellas!!!! WIthout you this show wouldn't be made possible.

LOU BEGA'S NEW RECORD


0/5 STARS


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
HHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHH
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAH
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH.....


OH EXCUSE ME.... WHY WOULD HE MAKE A 2ND ALBUM? DID HIS FIRST RECORD HAVE MORE THAN 1 HIT? DID HIS FIRST RECORD SELL MORE THAN A BAKERS DOZEN WORTH OF COPIES? SHOULD HE BE HIT WITH A BURGER KING SUPPLY TRUCK DRIVEN BY THE MAYOR OF MUNCHKINLAND? (huge inside joke there) IT'S A MYSTERY TO ME.